On the Star of Chicago we lived the American Dream and the American Reality all rolled into one. The waiters did very little and expected big tips. We smiled and sucked up a good deal. We looked flashy balancing towering trays of elaborate, multi-colored cocktails garnished with twisting straws, fruit, umbrellas, while the boat swayed beneath us and the passengers turned green.

At the end of the cruise we all jumped off the back of the boat and ran to the front to line up so the passengers could pass between us while we called out heartfelt goodbyes, ("we'll miss you.") We competed fiercely to see who made the most tips. And felt superior if we were called out of the goodbye line and slipped extra money in front of everybody.

The rest of the crew got paid less, but had access to perks - of course "perks" are riskier than tips, because they mostly have to do with stealing. But we were all getting paid, weren't we?

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