The Saga of William A. Early


You can write to Mistress misha lunchbox at caylor@evl.uic.edu

@-'-- Recently i fell really far behind in my email, so i sent out a message to all that had been kind enough to write to me asking them to be patient, and reassuring them that i would send out a personal response to everyone. Shortly thereafter, i received the following from one William A. Early...

William A. Early writes:

Subject: Misha... please read this

This is the second request I'm making of you. Please delete my name from your mailing list. I don't know who you are or how you got my email address. Please stop sending me email. I do not know you.

Please write back and tell me that you will not send me email.

@-'-- Quite surprised by this, i thought back to any previous letters in which i had been asked to cease and desist. I thought of only one really petty instance in which i had sent a 6-line response to someone who had submitted a name to my Index of Famous Cats; the person who recieved this response from me said that he had not sent the name, it had probably been his sister, and please do not send any more e-mail to his address!!!!!! Thinking this was the same idiot (it turned out to be a completely different idiot), i wrote the following reply...

Mistress misha lunchbox responds:

Someone sent me email from your address. This person was expecting a reply. That that person was not you is not MY fault. If receiving the occasional misdirected (and extremely BRIEF) message is such a god-awful trauma for you, you should start being more careful about whom you allow to send email from your account.

@-'-- At this point, i went back to find the message that had been sent to me from his address, so i could provide this lunatic with a name. That message read...

William A. Early writes:

Subject: Awesome Site Dude!

I just purchased a minature chocolate brown male dachshund. We're struggling for a name. I surfed the web and came across your site. It's really a cool site. I'm a Simpson's fanatic and have howled (sorry) over your compliation of dog names on the Simpsons.

Thanks for taking the time to create such an imaginative site.

Atlanta, Georgia

@-'-- So the second paragraph of my response read...

The person who has brought this horrible pox upon your mailbox this time was someone who signed himself "Bill, Atlanta, Georgia." I suggest you hunt him down and bite HIS head off.

@-'-- After i clicked "Send," i thought to myself, "Bill, Atlanta, Georgia ... William A. Early ... HE sent me e-mail! That bastard wrote to me himself, and then had the BALLS to bitch me out for responding!"

I have a feeling that William A. Early hasn't heard the last of me. So stay tuned.....

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This document is located at http://www.evl.uic.edu/caylor/LETTERS/William_A_Early.html
and was last modified 08 September 1997

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