I think and I see and I hear. I sometimes watch and listen. I surf. Therefore I am. The Internet is the greatest source of pollution humankind has ever known. Every Joe Schmoe has their own web site. My name is Jane Schmoe. This is my website. Welcome to my collection of sound garbage. Together they form the most beautiful music you have ever heard. They create patterns and rhythms you never imagined. They make your heart beat faster and harder.Everyone can do this. What makes me so special? Art is not original anymore. We recycle. For recycling to be successful there has to be lots of garbage. Maybe I did it first, but even if I did, I will never know. The Internet is the largest community in the world. It's not the Chinese, not the Indians who will rule the next millennium. A child stays in the mother's womb for nine months. A website can be born at the click of the mouse. And not only that. You can have a web baby even if you are male, even if you are gay, lesbian, post-menopausal, pre-menopausal, sterile, neutered. This is better than the desktop publishing revolution. Garbage can now be transmitted and transported through Ethernet, DSL, ISDN, and ATM. Any virus spreads faster than AIDS, faster than Ebola, deadlier than the bubonic plague. This is the INTERNET. It is the next revolution. It is every man's, woman's and child's paradise and every government's hell. Evolution and bandwidth made the WAVE format (*.wav) the most popular sound format on the net. MP3 requires some intelligence. But apparently, the WAVE, requires nothing but a heartbeat and a computer. All over the world, I looked and looked and found. WAVES, WAVES everywhere. The biggest candy store is in front of you. All the candy is free. Sugar addiction is inevitable. Addiction is the key. So, here it is. All the garbage I found. It is here to puzzle you and annoy you and please you. Feel free to smile and grin. Feel free to be disgusted and appalled. This is it. AURAL MASTURBATION. Don't deny that you enjoy it. Don't deny that you do it.

Just enjoy it!