Trail
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The councilor has learnt from Linda that I have spent the winter cooking in a vegetarian restaurant; being unattractive and greasy; leaving the house at 6:00 am, returning tired with a headache at 4:00 pm. I watch TV, then go to sleep. If she arranges any type of special outing I get a migraine
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But now I work on the boat. I'm clean. I'm happy. I'm making a lot of money.
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The councilor asks about my drinking. She suggests I have issues with drinking. I stop.
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The councilor also sees each of us alone. When it is my turn to go alone, I cry ceaselessly and say I am a liar, I am a liar. I do not lie with words but by omission. By holding my body still when you touch me instead of flinching, because although the flinch is true it would hurt you and I have no right to flinch. I lie by tightly imprisoning your arms so they won't be able to reach out to touch me. I lie by withdrawing into myself as far away as I can get, but staying here physically. I lie because it is too late to tell the truth, always too late, already too late by the time my body tells me what it is.
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Trail
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